Everyone lies to you. To be fair, they aren't trying to lie. It's just impossible to put the kind of pain, pressure, and resilience into words. There isn't anything comparable, so there aren't any words to describe it. Labor, and child birth are simply the only words that do describe it, and until you've been through it those words are just figureheads. The words are there, but they have no true meaning to a person that hasn't gone through it.
I thought I wanted to have a natural birth, i.e. no pain medication. I liked the idea of not having to relinquish control over any part of my body, and figured the benefits of being able to get up and shower after giving birth, no medication would get to the baby at all, and I would be fully aware and appreciative of my baby. Wanting to have a natural birth lasted me all the way until I got admitted into the hospital. So five hours of labor at home, two more hours in triage. After seven hours of natural labor, I decided no sane person would ever choose to have a natural birth and adamantly asked for all of the pain meds they could give me. Now, more power to you mamas out there that had a natural birth, but I couldn't do it and decided modern medicine was good enough for me.
This post isn't to tell help you decide whether to do natural or get an epidural. You have to do what's right for you, and you will know in that moment what is right for you and your child no matter what anybody else tells you. No, this post is to tell you about labor. It will push you past the very edge of reason, make you feel like you are going to die at some point in the process without actually breaking you, and then wipe away all pain once your baby is here. It's incredible what our mama bodies can endure and go through, and still have unequivocal, irrevocable love for our babies after. The hormone release when you've finally made your last push and your baby is laid on your chest for the first time, is supposed to be one of the biggest oxytocin releases a body is capable of. Now, I've never done drugs so I can't actually compare, but I will tell you that is one high that I don't ever want to forget.
I had heard people say that labor was the worst pain you would ever go through. That their pain was an 11 on a scale of 1-10, but that it all went away with that first breath of air that your baby takes. I thought they were crazy. No one's pain can go from an 11 to 0. I was wrong though - in that moment when your baby arrives, you have no more pain. No more fear, no more anxiety, no more cares, than the little one in your arms.
What I learned about labor, is that it's something no one can teach you. No matter how many classes you take, no matter the preparation you put forth for it, no one can prepare you for it. It's something that women end up winging every day, and like most things a determined woman does, the success rate is really high. So don't worry yourself with the unknown, instead embrace the fact that there is a tiny human coming into your life that is going to break down every wall you've ever put up because you will for the first time, truly know the meaning of unconditional love. So hold yourself a little higher, give a shout out to all the other mamas out there doing their thing, and carry on with your multi-tasking, kick-ass attitude, because that's all there is left to do and we're all in this together.
Comments